Another Day, Another Dollar.....

I have been really wondering about things....and why it never seems that I can find a job that I like. I am, again, in a position of being in a job that I absolutely DREAD going to. My boss treats me as if I am the newest chimp to learn walking upright. I get letters left for me nearly every afternoon about things that I don't do right, or that I didn't do enough of, or that I did too much of...there is NEVER any recognition of the things that I do that aren't asked of me, the times that I put in more than I should, and so on. I am still making what I started at when I took this job 3 months ago, and I am working at what I think is pretty much full capacity at this job. I was told when I interviewed, that when I showed that I was catching on, then I would be given a raise, and then another in a few months, etc...until I made top pay. Well, I haven't even had my first raise and it is looking like I may never get one. I am also the ONLY employee that this woman has that works 6 days a week straight. She is the owner, and she even gets time off. Not me. I have missed only two hours the entire time I have been here, and worked every day. No time off, and when I do request it, I am told that other employees have things that they need off for (even though they are new and she posted a note that they would not be able to ask for time off) and that I may not get the time off.
I hate to sound like I am a whiner, but right now, dern it, I am whining!!!! I ALWAYS get into job situations that let people take advantage of me, cause I never speak up for fear or retaliation or possibly losing my job. God, forgive me, but I just want to be at home....having children and raising them, and putting all my energy into my family and my home. And then, I see folks that have this and either A) hate it and want to get out of the house or B) see it as an opportunity to sit and eat junk food all day and watch cable. Even more of a reason that I feel I should be so stingy with my spending, and what I am willing to lay my "work-life outlay" down for....Is it really worth what I have to do and put up with to waste money on?
Is there anyone out there who has ever had this problem? A spouse who is dead set on you working and brining in as much money as possible, without even listening to other options? If so, how are you coping with this? How do you make your life work? And if God answered your prayer and you are at home now, do you still appreciate the fact that you don't have to work anymore?
I have decided I am not going to spend ANYTHING until I absolutely have to. I don't care if I have to patch clothes or eat peanut butter and jelly....I have GOT to get out of the American rat race. It is killing me slowly, and in the end, I will be like all other American robots.....dying alone in a nursing home with nothing to show for it.

Sorry this post is so dreadful....Maybe tomorrow I will be in a better mood.

So where am I now?

I have fell off the wagon, and now I am wanting to get back on...SO, I am challenging myself again (and let's not all forget that we ALL have done this at some point in time, right?) with some new added challenges....

I am sick and tired of being a lukewarm Christian. I am supposed to be sold out, and I still keep letting things and people get in the way of my relationship with God. So, I am going to add to my "Buy Nothing" challenge, and here is the newest set of rules:

1) No more TV. Period. I spend too much time in front of it, and I am an all or nothing person, so nothing on the TV it shall be.
2) No more secular music....whooooo, boy, this is going to be a toughy. But, I slip into someone that I don't want to be when I listen to it. It is MY choice that I do that, not that it is mandated by a church or anything like that. I really believe that is why Paul stresses to bring our flesh under submission....or it will rule us.
3) ABSOLUTELY NO MORE COMPLAINING AND GOSSIPING!!!! If I can't say something nice and encouraging, my yap is staying closed.
4) Being a true Proverbs 31/Titus 2 wife...instead of using it as a cute label in chatgroups :)

This is going to be so hard, but I believe that God will give me the desires of my heart, and this is what I desire. I want Him to be the most important thing in my life, not me or what I want at the moment.

Please be in prayer and agreement with me on this, as I really need all the support I can get. And let me know if you also are going to try to "put away the old man", and I will be more than happy to encourage you and help where I can. Remember, it ain't all about us anymore, and the sooner we can get our flesh in line, the eaiser it for God to step in and take control.